WHAT GOD SAYS ABOUT REVENGE
Pastor KC Liu / Romans 12:17-21 / October 2, 2016
ROMANS 12:17-21
17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone.
18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written:
“It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.
20 On the contrary:“If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”
21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Today, we are talking about the a serious subject called revenge. Paul has been going over similar themes throughout chapter 12. During my last message, I talked about how God commands us to bless those who persecute us and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. In Paul’s mind, this is all one conversation, one topic, one theme.
First let’s define what revenge is. Wikipedia says “Revenge is defined as being a harmful action against a person or group in response to a grievance, be it real or perceived. It is used to right a wrong by going outside of the law. This is because the individual taking revenge feels as though the law will not do justice. Revenge is also known as payback, retribution, retaliation, or vengeance.”
In this world, REVENGE is a huge reality. In fact, revenge is within our human nature.
Revenge is so embedded in humanity that different cultures have various proverbs on how to carry on revenge. I am going share a couple of cultural proverbs on revenge, and you tell me what it means.
First, there is an English proverb, “Revenge is a dish best served cold.”
Have you ever heard that one before? What do you think that means? It means don’t seek revenge immediately after the incident while your hot tempered. Do it when you cool down, and think in your right mind. The best payback is the one that comes with planning, and that brings the most horrendous pain to your enemies when they are not expecting it.
The irony is that the world has glorified revenge as something positive and praise worthy. And when we read and watch enough of these revenge stories, it shapes our thoughts and beliefs about revenge. That if we want justice, we have to make it happen ourselves, no matter what it takes.
REVENGE MOVIES
First let’s define what revenge is. Wikipedia says “Revenge is defined as being a harmful action against a person or group in response to a grievance, be it real or perceived. It is used to right a wrong by going outside of the law. This is because the individual taking revenge feels as though the law will not do justice. Revenge is also known as payback, retribution, retaliation, or vengeance.”
In this world, REVENGE is a huge reality. In fact, revenge is within our human nature.
Revenge is so embedded in humanity that different cultures have various proverbs on how to carry on revenge. I am going share a couple of cultural proverbs on revenge, and you tell me what it means.
First, there is an English proverb, “Revenge is a dish best served cold.”
Have you ever heard that one before? What do you think that means? It means don’t seek revenge immediately after the incident while your hot tempered. Do it when you cool down, and think in your right mind. The best payback is the one that comes with planning, and that brings the most horrendous pain to your enemies when they are not expecting it.
The irony is that the world has glorified revenge as something positive and praise worthy. And when we read and watch enough of these revenge stories, it shapes our thoughts and beliefs about revenge. That if we want justice, we have to make it happen ourselves, no matter what it takes.
REVENGE MOVIES
For those of you who like to watch movies, there is a genre called “revenge".
500 years ago, Shakespeare wrote his famous “Hamlet”, which is a story of revenge. Hamlet’s dad was the King. And his uncle killed his dad to usurp the throne. So the story is how Hamlet seeks to avenge his father.
In 1987, a cult movie came out called Princess Bride. It was one of those movies that gets quoted by a generation of fans. And the most famous line of the movie is this, “My name is Ignio Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die!” And when he stabs the bad guy, fans are overwhelmed with happiness.
In 2003, a movie called Kill Bill came out - Where a former assassin was wronged and seeks revenge. The woman awakens from a four year coma without the baby she was carrying, and seeks vengeance against a team of assassins. In that movie, they used this proverb, “revenge is a dish best served cold.”
Countless other movies have been made around the themes of sweet revenge: like Braveheart, the Punisher, and Revenge of the Jedi. I’ve only touched a few.
CHINESE PROVERBS AND MOVIES
Alright, now we are going to contextualize to our own Chinese culture and look at a couple of Chinese proverbs. Here is the first one:
君子报仇,十年不晚.
Can someone who knows what it means explain this? It means to seek revenge, you need to be patient, you need to wait for the right opportunity to strike. Act hastily and you will get yourself killed. Therefore, 10 years is not too late for revenge. Equip yourself, get strong, get weapons, develop a strategy, then strike your enemy. This fits the story-line for Kill Bill.
Here is the second Chinese proverb:
子不复仇非子也.
It means that a son who does not take revenge for his parents is not a son. It fits the Princess Bride quote too, “you killed my father, prepare to die!”
And the Chinese people take these proverbs very seriously. So much so that they would risk their lives for revenge.

There was a Jet Li movie that came out in 2006 called Fearless. I brought Amy to go see the movie, and she fell asleep in the theater. I was in total disbelieve. How can she fall asleep watching a Jet Li action movie?
I remember vividly the emotions that I felt when I saw this movie. The Chinese name is “霍元甲” (Master Huo) which is the actual name of a Wushu master in the early 1900s. That’s his real picture on the top. It’s a real person, but the movie was embellished for dramatic purposes. But the storyline goes like this.
霍元甲 had a deep passion for martial arts. He developed his own style and became a master. He has beaten everyone in his town. But he was prideful and hot tempered, and he wanted everyone to know that he was the best.
And he mistakenly thought that one of his martial art student was bullied by another student in another kung fu school. So he over-reacted and went to challenge that other master, Master Chin, in a death match, which was totally unnecessary. They could have just talked it out, but he wanted REVENGE. He wanted justice.
After an epic battle scene,霍元甲 ends up killing Master Chin in front of his own son. The son becomes consumed with rage and hatred for霍元甲 that he goes to 霍元甲’s house, and kills his wife and baby girl. Upon finding their dead bodies, 霍元甲 loses it completely and again seeks revenge. He runs to their house with a giant blade and kills the son.
霍元甲 was about to kill his mother and daughter as well for revenge. You killed my family, I will kill your family. The mother and girl was wailing and holding each other. And as he was about to strike them with the blade, he saw the body of Master Chin in their living room. They were wailing because they were mourning Master Chin’s death.
And 霍元甲 realized that this cycle of killing all started with him. He realized that he lost his family because of his own pride and vengeance. He then dropped his blade, went insane, and lived in the wilderness like an animal for many years. If you want to find out what happens next you can watch it on Amazon Prime or Netflix.
As I watched that in the theater, I remember that I was so sad because how tragic it was. So many innocent people suffer for the pride and vengeance of others. I knew it was only a story, but I also knew that these type of things really take place in our society.
MAN'S WISDOM vs GOD'S WISDOM
We have seen man’s wisdom in this world. No matter what culture we look at, it’s all very similar. Man’s wisdom cries out for revenge. Man’s wisdom will lead to bitterness, un-forgiveness, hatred, and death. Man’s wisdom will result in a cycle of never-ending suffering.
Perhaps there are people in your life, people in your family that are calling out for revenge. It may not look like violence. But it looks like bitterness, un-forgiveness, and hatred. And perhaps you are suffering now as a result of vengeance. We have seen that man’s wisdom doesn’t work. Now let’s take a look again at God’s wisdom.
The Apostle Paul says to us in verse 19, “Beloved, NEVER take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God.” Revenge and retaliation are ruled out for the person who claims to follow Jesus. Verse 19 in the NIV translates it like this, “Leave room for God’s wrath. For it is written: it is mine to avenge; I will repay, says the Lord.”
Take a look at your notes, and fill in the gap here. The first truth is this: 1) Vengeance is the work of God, it is NOT YOUR WORK.
Leave room for God to deal with it. Leave God plenty of room, plenty of space and time, and plenty of methods for him to deal with it. God will most certainly deal with the depraved behavior of men and women. One day, your offenders will stand in front of the judgement seat of God, and God will deal with them. God is a God of justice, he will make all things right. He will act on your behalf, so that you don’t have to seek revenge.
DAVID vs SAUL
In the Old Testament, we see a classic story of non-revenge. When David was a young man, he killed Goliath and became the hero of the nation. The King at the time, King Saul, was very jealous of him because the people loved David more than the king. They would sing, ““Saul has slain his thousands, and David his tens of thousands.” (1 Sam 18:7) Saul got so jealous that he attempted to kill him many times by hurling a spear at him!
What would you do if someone tried multiple times to kill you? Would you want to retaliate? Kill him before he kills you? Guess what David did? There was one time that Saul and his 3000 men were on a man-hunt for David in the wilderness desert. Saul got tired and took a nap in a cave. Little did he know David and his men were in the same cave, but just further back in the dark. His men urged David to kill Saul right there.
And yes, David could have just took a knife and slit his throat, and the danger would be over. But instead of killing Saul, David just cut off a piece of his robe and retreated. David knew from the Scriptures that he shouldn’t seek revenge.
The Bible says:
After Saul had left the cave and gone on his way, 8 David came out and shouted after him, “My lord the king!” And when Saul looked around, David bowed low before him. 9 Then he shouted to Saul, “Why do you listen to the people who say I am trying to harm you? 10 This very day you can see with your own eyes it isn’t true. For the Lord placed you at my mercy back there in the cave. Some of my men told me to kill you, but I spared you. For I said, ‘I will never harm the king—he is the Lord’s anointed one.’ 11 Look, my father, at what I have in my hand. It is a piece of the hem of your robe! I cut it off, but I didn’t kill you. This proves that I am not trying to harm you and that I have not sinned against you, even though you have been hunting for me to kill me. 12 “May the Lord judge between us. Perhaps the Lord will punish you for what you are trying to do to me, but I will never harm you.
From this story, David refused to take revenge on Saul because he was anointed by God. Even though Saul went bat-crazy out of his mind, David still honored him. Perhaps there are church leaders whom you disagree with, but because they are servants of God, we can still choose to honor them and not retaliate against them.
We have seen man’s wisdom in this world. No matter what culture we look at, it’s all very similar. Man’s wisdom cries out for revenge. Man’s wisdom will lead to bitterness, un-forgiveness, hatred, and death. Man’s wisdom will result in a cycle of never-ending suffering.
Perhaps there are people in your life, people in your family that are calling out for revenge. It may not look like violence. But it looks like bitterness, un-forgiveness, and hatred. And perhaps you are suffering now as a result of vengeance. We have seen that man’s wisdom doesn’t work. Now let’s take a look again at God’s wisdom.
The Apostle Paul says to us in verse 19, “Beloved, NEVER take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God.” Revenge and retaliation are ruled out for the person who claims to follow Jesus. Verse 19 in the NIV translates it like this, “Leave room for God’s wrath. For it is written: it is mine to avenge; I will repay, says the Lord.”
Take a look at your notes, and fill in the gap here. The first truth is this: 1) Vengeance is the work of God, it is NOT YOUR WORK.
Leave room for God to deal with it. Leave God plenty of room, plenty of space and time, and plenty of methods for him to deal with it. God will most certainly deal with the depraved behavior of men and women. One day, your offenders will stand in front of the judgement seat of God, and God will deal with them. God is a God of justice, he will make all things right. He will act on your behalf, so that you don’t have to seek revenge.
DAVID vs SAUL
In the Old Testament, we see a classic story of non-revenge. When David was a young man, he killed Goliath and became the hero of the nation. The King at the time, King Saul, was very jealous of him because the people loved David more than the king. They would sing, ““Saul has slain his thousands, and David his tens of thousands.” (1 Sam 18:7) Saul got so jealous that he attempted to kill him many times by hurling a spear at him!
What would you do if someone tried multiple times to kill you? Would you want to retaliate? Kill him before he kills you? Guess what David did? There was one time that Saul and his 3000 men were on a man-hunt for David in the wilderness desert. Saul got tired and took a nap in a cave. Little did he know David and his men were in the same cave, but just further back in the dark. His men urged David to kill Saul right there.
And yes, David could have just took a knife and slit his throat, and the danger would be over. But instead of killing Saul, David just cut off a piece of his robe and retreated. David knew from the Scriptures that he shouldn’t seek revenge.
The Bible says:
After Saul had left the cave and gone on his way, 8 David came out and shouted after him, “My lord the king!” And when Saul looked around, David bowed low before him. 9 Then he shouted to Saul, “Why do you listen to the people who say I am trying to harm you? 10 This very day you can see with your own eyes it isn’t true. For the Lord placed you at my mercy back there in the cave. Some of my men told me to kill you, but I spared you. For I said, ‘I will never harm the king—he is the Lord’s anointed one.’ 11 Look, my father, at what I have in my hand. It is a piece of the hem of your robe! I cut it off, but I didn’t kill you. This proves that I am not trying to harm you and that I have not sinned against you, even though you have been hunting for me to kill me. 12 “May the Lord judge between us. Perhaps the Lord will punish you for what you are trying to do to me, but I will never harm you.
From this story, David refused to take revenge on Saul because he was anointed by God. Even though Saul went bat-crazy out of his mind, David still honored him. Perhaps there are church leaders whom you disagree with, but because they are servants of God, we can still choose to honor them and not retaliate against them.
Romans 12:20 says, Instead, “If your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink." Paul says, INSTEAD of revenge, you are to do the opposite.
The 2nd truth is this, you can write in your notes: There is a better way of GETTING EVEN than by vengeance: Serve your enemy.
God says treat your enemies well. We are not to shoot our enemies. We are not to stick pins in dolls we’ve made that looks like them. We are not to send them anonymous poisonous letters. We are not to spread around nasty stories about them. We are not even to ignore them!!
In the parable of the Good Samaritan, the Samaritan passed by and stopped to help the Jewish man, and the Jews were considered enemies! The Samaritan put the enemy on his donkey and paid for his hotel room.
If your enemy has fallen on hard times, we are not to chuckle with pleasure and think, “Ha, he got what he deserved!.” Instead, serve your enemy. If someone bullies you at school, says nasty things about you, then they forgot to bring their lunch money and doesn’t have anything to eat, you should give him a few dollars to buy a sandwich. That’s what Paul is saying. If your co-worker in the office makes fun of your faith in the morning, then gets flat tire during lunch, don’t laugh at him. Instead, offer him your AAA service. That’s what Jesus would do. If your family have abused you in anyway, and kicks you out of their house. Then you find out they got really sick. Instead of wishing that they die, visit them in the hospital and bring them flowers. That’s the way of God. And do you know what happens when you treat your enemies well? What does it do to them?
Romans 12:20 says, "In doing this, you will heap burning coals of shame on their heads".
In other words, he considers what I have given him, and he’s deeply ashamed of how he’s been treating me. His conscience burns away. Every time he sees the things I’ve given him he feels guilty and his whole attitude changes towards me. You heap burning coals on his head. That is, you kill the old mean hateful heart in him with your kindness. The Bible says that it is the kindness of God that leads men to repentance. Remember the story of David and Saul? David told Saul that he won’t seek revenge, and will never harm him. What happened as a result? How did that conversation end?
16 When David had finished speaking, Saul called back, “Is that really you, my son David?” Then he began to cry. 17 And he said to David, “You are a better man than I am, for you have repaid me good for evil. 18 Yes, you have been amazingly kind to me today, for when the Lord put me in a place where you could have killed me, you didn’t do it. 19 Who else would let his enemy get away when he had him in his power? May the Lord reward you well for the kindness you have shown me today. 20 And now I realize that you are surely going to be king, and that the kingdom of Israel will flourish under your rule. 21 Now swear to me by the Lord that when that happens you will not kill my family and destroy my line of descendants!” 22 So David promised this to Saul with an oath.
You see, Romans 12:20 is lived out in this story. By showing Saul kindness, David was heaping burning coals of shame on Saul’s head.
The 2nd truth is this, you can write in your notes: There is a better way of GETTING EVEN than by vengeance: Serve your enemy.
God says treat your enemies well. We are not to shoot our enemies. We are not to stick pins in dolls we’ve made that looks like them. We are not to send them anonymous poisonous letters. We are not to spread around nasty stories about them. We are not even to ignore them!!
In the parable of the Good Samaritan, the Samaritan passed by and stopped to help the Jewish man, and the Jews were considered enemies! The Samaritan put the enemy on his donkey and paid for his hotel room.
If your enemy has fallen on hard times, we are not to chuckle with pleasure and think, “Ha, he got what he deserved!.” Instead, serve your enemy. If someone bullies you at school, says nasty things about you, then they forgot to bring their lunch money and doesn’t have anything to eat, you should give him a few dollars to buy a sandwich. That’s what Paul is saying. If your co-worker in the office makes fun of your faith in the morning, then gets flat tire during lunch, don’t laugh at him. Instead, offer him your AAA service. That’s what Jesus would do. If your family have abused you in anyway, and kicks you out of their house. Then you find out they got really sick. Instead of wishing that they die, visit them in the hospital and bring them flowers. That’s the way of God. And do you know what happens when you treat your enemies well? What does it do to them?
Romans 12:20 says, "In doing this, you will heap burning coals of shame on their heads".
In other words, he considers what I have given him, and he’s deeply ashamed of how he’s been treating me. His conscience burns away. Every time he sees the things I’ve given him he feels guilty and his whole attitude changes towards me. You heap burning coals on his head. That is, you kill the old mean hateful heart in him with your kindness. The Bible says that it is the kindness of God that leads men to repentance. Remember the story of David and Saul? David told Saul that he won’t seek revenge, and will never harm him. What happened as a result? How did that conversation end?
16 When David had finished speaking, Saul called back, “Is that really you, my son David?” Then he began to cry. 17 And he said to David, “You are a better man than I am, for you have repaid me good for evil. 18 Yes, you have been amazingly kind to me today, for when the Lord put me in a place where you could have killed me, you didn’t do it. 19 Who else would let his enemy get away when he had him in his power? May the Lord reward you well for the kindness you have shown me today. 20 And now I realize that you are surely going to be king, and that the kingdom of Israel will flourish under your rule. 21 Now swear to me by the Lord that when that happens you will not kill my family and destroy my line of descendants!” 22 So David promised this to Saul with an oath.
You see, Romans 12:20 is lived out in this story. By showing Saul kindness, David was heaping burning coals of shame on Saul’s head.
So Paul ends the mighty chapter 12 by saying this in verse 21: “Don’t let evil conquer you.”
What does this mean exactly? It means don’t let revenge eat you up and destroy your life.
Truth #3 is this: Vengeance destroys you.
Revenge can destroy us if we look at life as a kind of competition. He hit me so I had to hit him back. I said something awful to him only because he said it to me first. Unfortunately, this happens in marriages all the time. You hurt me so now I am going to hurt you. You cheated on me so now I am going to cheat on you. You slapped me so I can slap you back. You raised your voice, so now I am going to raise mine. And it goes on and on. Getting even never works! What happens when you try to get even? You unleash this whole cycle of retribution and violence. It never ends because someone else always wants to get the last word.
There is a very practical reason behind Paul’s advice. You may win the battle, you may even get the last word or strike the last blow, but in the end, you’ve destroyed your own life. In the process of hurting other people, you’ve hurt yourself too, spiritually, emotionally and physically. Anger has a way of destroying the inside of you. You feel the anger, rage, betrayal and horrible thoughts that keep you up late at night. That’s one of the reasons why many people are sick today. They aren’t sick because of some bug or a flu. No, their souls are sick and as a result their bodies are sick. They are always depressed, and they can’t sleep. They have all sorts of problems, back problems, tension headaches, nightmares, stomach problems. So what can they do? How can they get better?
Paul’s answer is in the last words in Chapter 12: “Overcome evil with good.”
This is his solution to the problem. If they want to get better, they have let go of vengeance. Let go of trying to get even. And overcome it with GOOD. Although we live in a world where evil seem to win out, it’s only a temporary situation. God has arranged things so that EVIL may appear to win in the short run, but GOOD always win in the end. That may not happen until 5 years later, or 20 years later. Or it might not happen in one lifetime or one generation, but eventually good wins. We’ve read the final chapter. Good wins! God wins!
That’s the 4th truth: Good wins. God wins.
Justice will be done. Evildoers will be punished and those who follow the way of Jesus will be rewarded. That’s the promise of God.
What does this mean exactly? It means don’t let revenge eat you up and destroy your life.
Truth #3 is this: Vengeance destroys you.
Revenge can destroy us if we look at life as a kind of competition. He hit me so I had to hit him back. I said something awful to him only because he said it to me first. Unfortunately, this happens in marriages all the time. You hurt me so now I am going to hurt you. You cheated on me so now I am going to cheat on you. You slapped me so I can slap you back. You raised your voice, so now I am going to raise mine. And it goes on and on. Getting even never works! What happens when you try to get even? You unleash this whole cycle of retribution and violence. It never ends because someone else always wants to get the last word.
There is a very practical reason behind Paul’s advice. You may win the battle, you may even get the last word or strike the last blow, but in the end, you’ve destroyed your own life. In the process of hurting other people, you’ve hurt yourself too, spiritually, emotionally and physically. Anger has a way of destroying the inside of you. You feel the anger, rage, betrayal and horrible thoughts that keep you up late at night. That’s one of the reasons why many people are sick today. They aren’t sick because of some bug or a flu. No, their souls are sick and as a result their bodies are sick. They are always depressed, and they can’t sleep. They have all sorts of problems, back problems, tension headaches, nightmares, stomach problems. So what can they do? How can they get better?
Paul’s answer is in the last words in Chapter 12: “Overcome evil with good.”
This is his solution to the problem. If they want to get better, they have let go of vengeance. Let go of trying to get even. And overcome it with GOOD. Although we live in a world where evil seem to win out, it’s only a temporary situation. God has arranged things so that EVIL may appear to win in the short run, but GOOD always win in the end. That may not happen until 5 years later, or 20 years later. Or it might not happen in one lifetime or one generation, but eventually good wins. We’ve read the final chapter. Good wins! God wins!
That’s the 4th truth: Good wins. God wins.
Justice will be done. Evildoers will be punished and those who follow the way of Jesus will be rewarded. That’s the promise of God.
OUR GREATEST EXAMPLE
There are many great examples of good overcoming evil. But the greatest example in history occurred 2000 years ago when God sent his son into the world. Even though Jesus lived a sinless life, the religious leaders saw him as a threat and plotted to kill him. Witnesses appears to make absurd charges against him, claiming that he was a right-winged extremist, a rebel, a troublemaker, a traitor to the nation. Lies, all of it was lies. But the truth didn’t matter that night. The people in power already decided that this man must die.
Jesus was convicted of crimes he didn’t commit. When he was questioned, he refused to defend himself. When he was attacked, he refused to retaliate. Jesus could have destroyed them with ease, but he didn’t. Later on, they beat him with their fist, then ripped his beard, then spat on him. Then they whipped him with a cat of nine tail whip and shredded his back. In the end, they crucified him along with two thieves. As he hung on the cross, his first words were a prayer for his enemies: “Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing.”
Shortly after that, he died. He paid the ultimate price for what he believed in. We may ask, “why didn’t Jesus strike back? What didn’t he fight for his rights? What didn’t he retaliate when he was perfectly justified to do so?” The answer is in 1 Peter 2:23, “He entrusted himself to him who judges justly.”
He believed that God was a God of justice, therefore he didn’t have to say a word in his own defense. He knew that God would take care of him in the end. And he did. On Friday he was crucified. On Sunday he rose from the dead! Jesus is alive!!
Aren’t you glad that Jesus didn’t talk back? Aren’t you glad that Jesus didn’t retaliate? Aren’t you glad that Jesus submitted to God’s plan and went to the cross? If he didn’t, we would still be lost in our sins and forever damned. But he rose from the dead and ascended to heaven, seated on His throne. He can give us faith in him. He can give us new hearts. He can give us power to live the life of Romans 12, to feed our enemies, to overcome evil with good.
I encourage you, go from this service and live at peace with everyone. Go and refuse to return evil for evil! God from this service and know that wherever you are, there will be people who won’t like you, who will attempt to hurt you, who will mistreat you and laugh at you. Go anyway! Go and carry with you the love of God! Go and determine not to seek revenge against those who hurt you.
Above all else, go with a new determination to love your enemies no matter what it takes. Don’t let evil overcome you this week. But go out from this place and overcome evil with good. And know that Jesus himself will go with you.
Reflection and Discussion Question:
In what ways are you acting out your vengeance, anger, or unforgiveness? What does God want you to do specifically today?