FINDING TRUE LOVE
Pastor KC Liu / 1 Corinthians 13 / February 14, 2017
1 If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.
2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains,
but do not have love, I am nothing.
3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails.
As you know, Valentines Day is right around the corner, and many people, from little kids to old people, they are all celebrating it in their own way. Valentines Day is about celebrating love. St Valentine was a kind hearted Roman priest who secretly married couples who love each other. In the days of Emperor Claudius II, in the 3rd century, soldiers who were married were reluctant to go to battle, so the Empire outlawed men to marry. But St Valentine believed in marriage, so he secretly married them. But St. Valentine was caught in this illegal act, and he was killed for disobeying the Emperor, on Feb 14.
So we are going to talk about “Finding True Love.” There’s more than 1 way of finding true love. Usually we think about finding true love in romantic ways, like finding a boyfriend or girlfriend or a spouse. But I suggest to you, that there are three ways of finding true love, and romantic love actually comes last. If you don’t find true love in the first two ways, you will not be able to find true love in romance. In order to talk about Finding True Love, we have to first define what true love is.
So we are going to talk about “Finding True Love.” There’s more than 1 way of finding true love. Usually we think about finding true love in romantic ways, like finding a boyfriend or girlfriend or a spouse. But I suggest to you, that there are three ways of finding true love, and romantic love actually comes last. If you don’t find true love in the first two ways, you will not be able to find true love in romance. In order to talk about Finding True Love, we have to first define what true love is.
I used to think that true love is such a subjective thing, that there is no definitive answer. That’s why people use the word love so loosely to describe everything. But the Word of God has a very clear definition of true love. Let’s read 1 Corinthians 1-3 together out loud.
You can have a lot of talents and spiritual gifts, and even great faith, but without love, you are nothing. That was the problem of the Corinthian church. The Christians in Corinth were wealthy, they were talented, but they were self centered, and wanted to show off and be the best. In some ways, it kind of describes people in Irvine. So let’s learn from Paul, and take his words to heart.
We can have bible studies, join the core team, and play awesome instruments, run for Team World Vision, but if we don’t love each other, we are nothing.
You can have a lot of talents and spiritual gifts, and even great faith, but without love, you are nothing. That was the problem of the Corinthian church. The Christians in Corinth were wealthy, they were talented, but they were self centered, and wanted to show off and be the best. In some ways, it kind of describes people in Irvine. So let’s learn from Paul, and take his words to heart.
We can have bible studies, join the core team, and play awesome instruments, run for Team World Vision, but if we don’t love each other, we are nothing.
Here it tells us what love IS, and what love ISN’T. Isn’t it interesting that the definition of love from the Word of God looks nothing like the love described in MTV or whatever shows young people watch? The love that God describes has been in effect for 2000 years, and it withstood the test of time. You can trust this to be tried and true.
Now we will look at this definition through the lenses of God. 1 John 4:8 says that God IS love. He is perfect love. Let me read this again with our Lord Jesus as the word love. The Lord is patient, the Lord is Kind, the Lord does not envy… The Lord always protects, always trusts, always hopes. If we don’t know how to love people, just look at the Lord. He is our role model in how to live out love. He is the definition of True Love.
With this in mind, let’s look at the 3 ways we can find true love, and in this particular order.
Now we will look at this definition through the lenses of God. 1 John 4:8 says that God IS love. He is perfect love. Let me read this again with our Lord Jesus as the word love. The Lord is patient, the Lord is Kind, the Lord does not envy… The Lord always protects, always trusts, always hopes. If we don’t know how to love people, just look at the Lord. He is our role model in how to live out love. He is the definition of True Love.
With this in mind, let’s look at the 3 ways we can find true love, and in this particular order.
First, we need to RECEIVE true love in our Heavenly Father, because GOD IS LOVE.
God is our Creator, he made us in his own image. God made us to find our ultimate satisfaction and fulfillment in HIM. Every human being’s greatest desire and greatest need is to LOVE and be LOVED. That’s the way He designed us, so that we can seek Him and love Him in return.
Loving God, and being loved in returned is the most important thing in your life. It is the most important thing in the universe. That is our source of identity and acceptance. Knowing that Papa God loves you no matter what, that alone will anchor you, satisfy you in a way that nothing else can. This is the only true love that is truly unshakable, unmovable, never changing, ever lasting.
If you don’t know this kind of love from our Papa God, pray to receive it tonight. His love is a free gift. He loved you from the foundation of the world. All you do is open up your heart and receive it. It’s as simple as that. God is love. And God is the power source of love. If you have a hard time loving people, you need to get plugged in to the power source.
God is our Creator, he made us in his own image. God made us to find our ultimate satisfaction and fulfillment in HIM. Every human being’s greatest desire and greatest need is to LOVE and be LOVED. That’s the way He designed us, so that we can seek Him and love Him in return.
Loving God, and being loved in returned is the most important thing in your life. It is the most important thing in the universe. That is our source of identity and acceptance. Knowing that Papa God loves you no matter what, that alone will anchor you, satisfy you in a way that nothing else can. This is the only true love that is truly unshakable, unmovable, never changing, ever lasting.
If you don’t know this kind of love from our Papa God, pray to receive it tonight. His love is a free gift. He loved you from the foundation of the world. All you do is open up your heart and receive it. It’s as simple as that. God is love. And God is the power source of love. If you have a hard time loving people, you need to get plugged in to the power source.
Second, we need to PRACTICE true love in our community of friends.
This is not the romantic kind of love, but a brotherly or sisterly kind of love. Love needs two or more people to happen. Love takes two to tangle. You CAN’T be by yourself in your room all day to practice love. You can’t avoid people if you want to find true love. It sounds obvious, but it’s NOT obvious to many people. You can’t say, I love people, but you never take any loving actions. Love is not a feeling, it’s not warm fuzzys, love is a VERB. That’s why God places us in a community of friends, so that we can practice loving each other. This church space is a safe place to practice loving each other as brothers and sisters in Christ. Your school is a place to practice acts of love with your friends.
If you skip fellowship all the time, if you don’t plug yourself into a small group and commit doing life with a group of people, if you play video games 10 hours a day in your room, you won’t be able to practice true love.
The first concert I ever went to was DC TALK – a Christian rock band in the 90s. And at that time, there was a very popular song called "Luv is a Verb". It goes like this:
Words come easy but don't mean much, When the words they're sayin' we can't put trust in, We're talkin' 'bout love in a different light, And if we all learn to love it would be just right, Hey, tell me haven't ya heard? Luv, is a serious word, Hey, I think it's time ya learned, I don't care what they say, I don't care care what ya heard. The word luv, luv is a verb.
Another popular artist named John Mayer also wrote a song, Love is a Verb:
Love is a verb, It ain't a thing, It's not something you own, It's not something you scream. When you show me love, I don't need your words, Yeah love ain't a thing, Love is a verb….Love ain't a crutch, It ain't an excuse, No you can't get through love, On just a pile of IOUS. Love ain't a drug, Despite what you've heard, Yeah love ain't a thing. Love is a verb. So you gotta show, show, show me, Show, show, show me, Show, show, show me, That love is a verb…
So we learn from these two songs, and also from the scriptures, that LOVE is a VERB. Love is proactive. And in our home, our church, our work, and our school is where we get to practice all this.
Love is a verb, It ain't a thing, It's not something you own, It's not something you scream. When you show me love, I don't need your words, Yeah love ain't a thing, Love is a verb….Love ain't a crutch, It ain't an excuse, No you can't get through love, On just a pile of IOUS. Love ain't a drug, Despite what you've heard, Yeah love ain't a thing. Love is a verb. So you gotta show, show, show me, Show, show, show me, Show, show, show me, That love is a verb…
So we learn from these two songs, and also from the scriptures, that LOVE is a VERB. Love is proactive. And in our home, our church, our work, and our school is where we get to practice all this.
When someone wrongs us, do we want to retaliate, seek revenge? Or ask God to help us to forgive them and keep no records of wrongs?
When someone gossips about your friend, do you step up and try to protect their reputation? Maybe someone said, “see so and so got an A, he must have cheated on the test because he is stupid.” They say that because of envy. But you know that’s not true, so you step up and say, “you don’t know that. Maybe he studied really hard, and he deserved it.”
See when you do that you act in love towards your friend, you are protecting their reputation. You do not delight in this evil conversation, but you tell the truth. If you love someone, you will take action.
Once you have received true love from our loving Father, and practice true love in your community, you might be ready for the next step. Then we must ask, how do we know when we are ready? Do this. Plug your name into the place where love is in 1 Cor 13. And let’s read it out loud.
Now does that sound good? Do you have a peace in your heart that God is cultivating these things in your heart? Or does it feel like it’s very far away from you? I know we will never perfect love in our lifetime, but it’s our goal to be loving everyday. Do you try to practice these things? If not, make this your prayer. Then and only then are you ready to move to the 3rd kind of love. And that is the romance kind of love. Most of you are too young to date, but in the future, when you are ready, this is what you do.
Third, we need to DISCERN true love in the right person.
I don’t know if you know, many people in their 20’s and 30s come to my wife and I for pre-marital counsel. I’ve made so many mistakes in dating relationships that I can spot them a mile away. I’ve done every wrong thing in the book, so I can identify them. For example, dating in secret is a big mistake.
Some people are ready to be in a serious relationship. But some people are not.
And some guys that I disciple will fall for any girl that comes across his path. If they are cute, that’s it, that’s the only criteria. It’s like love at first sight. Do I believe in love at first sight? No, I don’t. It’s a myth. You can have a crush at first sight, or infatuation at first sight, but there is no love at first sight. Love is patient. That means Love takes time to cultivate. I believe that you have to be friends first, before you start dating someone.
And how do you know if they are the right person? Put their name in the love space. Does that person live out these true love qualities?
If they don’t live it out in their regular lives, they sure aren’t going to live it out with you. And if they don’t live out love with you, where is your relationship going? Nowhere. The warm fuzzys and the crush will eventually fade away. If they don’t know how to love, they will hurt you badly. And you will be disillusioned with Prince Charming and Princess Bride.
Therefore, use the Bible as your discerning process. And have your advisor, pastor, or mentor speaking into your relationship. They are older with more experience than you. Seek their counsel. Then you will be on your way to successfully FINDING TRUE LOVE.
If you would like to talk more about dating and relationships with Pastor KC, please email Pastor.KC@icloud.com
